“Urgh, you`re such a baby!” or “She`s a true drama queen!”. That`s the way society may be judging people who have failed to develop good, solid emotional intelligence. By the way, you have probably noticed that people who have enormous intellectual capacities are usually not so good at handling their emotions.
“Reading people” isn`t that hard if you spend enough time in society and pay attention to the details. Don`t say that you didn`t spot that snide smile of your friend when he was praising your new haircut.
However, not all people are good at interpreting emotions of others. My grandma, for example, can`t recognize sarcasm. Like at all! You can only be straightforward with her, otherwise, you`ll end up in a serious trouble.
So, we are talking about a certain connection that can be spotted between emotions and an actual level of intellect. But what emotional intelligence is all about? If you already know this, good for you. Let`s check your knowledge of the matter because sometimes arrogance can drag us into very awkward situations.
By the way, this knowledge might once help you choose between buying an essay online and spending night hours on writing it on your own.
The psychological term we`re talking about here represents your ability to control emotions. And not just your emotions, but those of other people as well. It can tell a lot about your abilities to react to people`s mood changes, the ways you interpret and analyze emotions in general. Where did all of this even come from?
People Were Dead Inside Until the 20th Century
I don`t know for sure, that`s just an assumption because the scientific community refused to acknowledge the existence of emotional intelligence. Through all centuries of human evolution, nobody has ever gotten curious about the topic. This seems odd because the older you become, the clearer you realize how immature some people are when it comes to expressing emotions.
Even Freud didn`t want to work on that matter. Hopefully, the year of 1964 came and Michael Beldoch published a paper describing his limited research on emotional intelligence. That paper just slid practically unnoticed. 1995 brought us a book by Daniel Goleman (who is a science journalist) which told about this psychological phenomenon in much more detail. The press got into a frenzy, and the topic became widely popular soon.
It Has Four Components
Developed emotional intelligence isn`t just about your ability to withhold your rage when something goes not according to the plan, or to restrain tears when you`re watching “The Lion King” for the seventh time. It has the stages and the categories. Every adult should master those emotional components. It`s especially important for students because their nervous system and overall psychological wellbeing aren`t in an excellent condition in most cases.
The 1st component. An ability to analyze and express emotions. We`re talking about the right emotions here. Can you tell if a person is being insincere to you? Can you see that the joke someone told was meant to be funny but not offensive? If you have difficulties with interpreting emotions of other people, you should definitely work on that. This is a very useful skill. If you want to support your friend, but you end up having the most awkward set of emotions that ruin everything for you, there will be consequences.
The 2nd component. Knowledge of emotions. Imagine that you have a course about emotions at university. What do you think you`d study at the lectures? Okay, those who are studying psychology, just stop bragging. We are asking other people here.
Knowledge of emotions implies an ability to distinguish different emotions from one another, to name them, and to know their principal types and classifications. It is largely connected to our cultural and social environment. For example, we know for sure how people from our community will react to a certain emotion.
The 3rd component. The ability to control emotions. That`s what all the Oscar-winning actors have mastered. If you`ve been attending drama classes at school or at university, you may already be way ahead of your fellow students.
There is a common belief that women are more emotional than men. That`s why it`s harder for them to hide their feelings. First and foremost, it largely depends on types of emotions. For example, men show rage more often, and women cry more. Secondly, there is so much that you should know on the topic, so it will be easier if you just look through this article.
The 4th component. It`s all about behavior. It`s absolutely great that you`ve learnt how to “read” emotions of other people, but that`s not enough.
You have to know how to act in accordance with those emotions. Sometimes it`s just better to leave a person alone. At times it`s yet better to even run away, especially when someone`s rage gets out of control. In other cases, it’s wiser to offer support and give a shoulder to cry on.
Your right reaction to people`s behavior is the sign of your maturity. We`re not robots, so sometimes we just lose the chill. That`s fine. But you should always apologize for your irrational behavior and excessive demonstration of emotions.
Why Would You Bother?
If nobody has perceived emotional intelligence as a solid psychological phenomenon, then why would you do it now? Mentioning it in the resume will give you a couple of great points. Besides, studies have shown that people who have a more developed emotional intelligence are more satisfied with their lives. What is more, the success in a marriage largely depends on this factor as well.