Effective communication is one of the most important life skills one can develop. Every human reaches different mastery level: someone can’t speak with family members and decide who goes to the shop, while other one can sell an elephant to a stranger he or she just met on the street. But every skill can be gained, and the ability to communicate with people is not exclusion.
What to start with? Keep an eye on yourself while talking to people and use ways we are going to speak about further. Of course, there are much more than seven of them in reality, but even these ones can give you good results. Here we don’t speak about psychological tricks, but pay attention to key principles.
1. Always Pay Attention to Body Language
Yes, they all think this to be important, but when it comes to reality, they concentrate rather on what they say then on how they look or what their body “speaks”. But very often, it can tell much more than words.
You tell you are open for a dialogue, but you don’t even look at the collocutor. You convince him or her to be interesting, but you constantly check your smartphone and show impatience. Non-verbal signals show more than you think.
Remember, you communicate with people even if you do not say a word at a certain moment. It is difficult to control the whole body at once, so start with your hands. Keep an eye on them, so hands and fingers could express and add something to the sense of your speaking message. Learn how to “read” your collocutor’s body language, too: it will be easier for you to catch up his or her mood in that way.
2. Get Rid of Unnecessary Words
Those are “urm”, “ehh”, and other words and word combinations that do not make sense. Get rid of that trash so you could seem to be more confident and persuasive.
First, this may seem to be a difficult task, but with time you will not only get rid of unnecessary words, but will make your thoughts clearer as well.
3. Think Over the Scenery
Let’s suppose that you have always been stunned with a question: “What do you study?” That makes you confused, you start saying some weird stuff blended with silly jokes. If so, then it is time to end this.
Find some time and think over the answers for all the questions that stun you, and then write down your answers. You can process several scenery variations depending on people you are about to talk to.
Sometimes you can be made to speak about nothing with an old friend you accidentally met. Think what you can talk about in that case in advance, too.
4. Tell a Story
Stories have special power. They activate your collocutor’s brain, make presentations involving, help being persuasive and even assist during interviews. Everyone has at least one wonderful story to tell. And if to fill it with metaphors, beautiful expressions, and culmination: people will listen to you with a double interest.
5. Ask Questions
Many people refuse asking questions because of being afraid of looking intrusive or silly. In fact, questions are powerful instruments to interest your collocutor and to show him or her that you are interested in a conversation.
Repeat last words he or she says in a form of a question, this will make them continue speaking. Those people who are called outgoing, often just know how to listen to collocutors and to ask questions.
6. Do not Distract
To distract for smartphone during a dialogue is a perfect way for you to spoil your relationships with others. If that is your goal, fine. But if you want to be known as a good collocutor, forget about the fact that you have a smartphone with you at all.
It is not only about gadgets: everything that makes a conversation uncomfortable can be mentioned here; for instance, anything standing between you and them, a noise, an environment itself.
7. Listen to Them, Really
That is the most important principle for you to be guided with, despite the fact we mention it as the last one. If there is any tip for becoming a great companion, here it is. People are so captured with themselves, that they do not pay attention to what the other person says. One’s ego is the greatest enemy in any dialogue.
That is a hard work that requires you to be patient, but it is your ability to listen to others that is the reason for people to say: “That is the greatest collocutor I’ve ever met!”